Grand opening of new Tide Pod restaurant, “Ride the Tide” gets five-star reviews

♦ By David Le (’18), Eastside Underground (& “Humor”) Editor

The recent trend of the Tide Pod challenge has sparked interest and an examination of the extent of human stupidity. Yet with many strange trends like this, it also means profiting off of people’s apparent lack of intelligence.

Many eating establishments have contributed to the trend by making Tide pod themed foods, in order to attract a different type of customer.

Local restaurant owner and entrepreneur, Forbe Iddenfroot, has decided to expand upon this trend. “All those restaurants and food places out there have corrupted the Tide Pod legacy with their ‘reimagining’. It’s all fake. Every place I went to, it was always Tide Pod themed food or decorations or something. I never found an actual Tide Pod to sate my appetite. That’s when it hit me, why not address the needs of others like me, with my very own restaurant?”

The restaurant is called “Ride the Tide” and serves an assorted variety of foods and drinks, all containing Tide Pods in some shape or form. However, despite the common ingredient in this restaurant, it is surprisingly beach-themed.

“It’s all about the aesthetics, where do people usually want to go before they die– I mean, dye their mouths blue and white with the delicious flavour of Tide Pods?” Iddenfroot explained as he chuckled nervously, “They want to go to the beach of course. Who doesn’t? It also helped that I couldn’t come up with any other name.”

Inside the beach-themed interior, the restaurant is packed and a strong scent of detergent lingers in the air.

Choak’En Hasärd, the chef of Ride the Tide, claims that he loves his job. “I love bringing the happiness of Tide Pods to the people. Every time I look out at the tables, I see everyone smiling with their mouths full of Tide Pods. It gives me a warm feeling to know that I am able to participate in natural selection… of the highest quality of Tide Pods. I would never eat them of course, simply because I wouldn’t want to deprive our customers of their meal.”

Everyday, customers are packed into the restaurant, with many lined up outside. So far, there have been only five-star reviews for Ride the Tide. One customer explains the allure of the establishment. “Everything in here is so clean and vibrant, not to mention, the food here is fresh and colorful. I love how they always use the most organic ingredients; the Tide Pods are always free-range in a bag, not some restrictive container. They also have a guarantee that all Tide Pods are 100% GMO free.”

With the widespread success of “Ride the Tide” in only a few days, Iddenfroot claims that he may soon open a franchise.

“Tide Pods are powerful for the soul, and for getting those deep stains out, but mostly for the soul. I plan on spreading the message of the Tide Pods through my restaurant, all over the world. Because if there’s one thing I can rely on, it’s human intelligence .”

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