Toys-R-Us mascot, Geoffrey the Giraffe, finds employment elsewhere.

♦ By David Le (’18), Eastside Underground (& “Humor”) Editor With Toys-R-Us going out of business, we are reminded of the thousands of toys without homes and of course our beloved Geoffrey the Giraffe. With Geoffrey out of a job, he has no where to go. However, many dedicated Geoffrey fans have claimed to see the well-known giraffe hanging around reputable businesses begging for jobs. … Continue reading Toys-R-Us mascot, Geoffrey the Giraffe, finds employment elsewhere.

United Airlines decides to make “universal apology” a permanent part of their company policy.

♦ By David Le (’18), Eastside Underground (& “Humor”) Editor United Airlines has been the center of all things controversial in flight news, however a recent statement released by the company has given people hope. In the statement, United Airlines announced changes to company policy and customer interaction. *STATEMENT EXCERPT* “In light of a few mistakes that have occurred in the past, we here at … Continue reading United Airlines decides to make “universal apology” a permanent part of their company policy.

UNFILTERED INTERVIEW: Raw Water Founder, Ech Tuo

♦ By David Le (’18), Eastside Underground (& “Humor”) Editor Today we interview — perhaps the most important person on this planet (other than Jake from State Farm) — the founder of the Raw Water movement, Ech Tuo. Mr.Tuo– “Please, call me Watah” Watah, your importance in today’s society is based on the popularity of your life-changing creation, Raw Water. How exactly did you come … Continue reading UNFILTERED INTERVIEW: Raw Water Founder, Ech Tuo

Students and staff in Cherry Hill are completely fine with missing out on the Eagles parade. Really, they are.

♦ By David Le (’18), Eastside Underground (& “Humor”) Editor There is no conflict. There is no petition (with hundreds of signatures) that asks for a day off. There is no problem with having school tomorrow. There is no issue with missing a historic event. While we we’re at it, there is no parade, there was no Super Bowl, there are no Eagles, and many … Continue reading Students and staff in Cherry Hill are completely fine with missing out on the Eagles parade. Really, they are.

Philadelphia residents react to Eagles Superbowl with dignity and class.

♦ By David Le (’18), Eastside Underground (& “Humor”) Editor Philadelphian Eagle Fans are known for their mild mannered excitement and their civil celebratory nature. After their big Super Bowl win, the streets of Philadelphia were filled with joyous revelers. They cheered and laughed in joy as they clapped politely, making sure to leave all cars, awnings and street lamps intact. Champagne and H’oars Crêp … Continue reading Philadelphia residents react to Eagles Superbowl with dignity and class.

A message from our sponsors: The Groundhog Vocational School

♦ By David Le (’18), Eastside Underground (& “Humor”) Editor As a groundhog, your singular job of seasonal prophet is over, and you’re essentially useless come spring (whenever your shadow says it may be). Many a groundhog, much like you, has waited until February 2nd every year to receive their paycheck. But, how will one paycheck get you through the spring or next winter? Introducing … Continue reading A message from our sponsors: The Groundhog Vocational School

Grand opening of new Tide Pod restaurant, “Ride the Tide” gets five-star reviews

♦ By David Le (’18), Eastside Underground (& “Humor”) Editor The recent trend of the Tide Pod challenge has sparked interest and an examination of the extent of human stupidity. Yet with many strange trends like this, it also means profiting off of people’s apparent lack of intelligence. Many eating establishments have contributed to the trend by making Tide pod themed foods, in order to … Continue reading Grand opening of new Tide Pod restaurant, “Ride the Tide” gets five-star reviews

Animal Crossing: Pocket Camp plans major updates with “semi-real simulations”

♦ By David Le (’18), Eastside Underground (& “Humor”) Editor In a recent announcement, the popular mobile game: “Animal Crossing”, is predicted to experience another surge in popularity. It is an example of what many experts call, “useless semi-real” simulation games. The objective of the game, as a completely sane campsite manager, is to collect and cater to what seems to be a superior race … Continue reading Animal Crossing: Pocket Camp plans major updates with “semi-real simulations”